Jan 27th, 2020
Do you ever feel like you're ready to go to the next level, but you've got so much going on and so many conflicting ideas and understanding about what's true for you and you're not sure where to get started?
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today, I want to talk to you about unlearning your past truths.
I remember when I was 15, I had a very low self-worth at that point and there was something I found out in my life, in that year, that devastated me as a young boy and it got me to form some beliefs about myself, which held me back for many, many years. To be honest, I had a pity party for over 20 years on this one thing that I found out had happened in my past, that I then made some judgments on myself about and on the world and some truths that I took on then, sabotaged my opportunity to be who it was that I was created to be.
So, when we have untruths in our life, they can hold you back. They can keep you playing a small game and you end up stagnating and not stepping into your full destiny. But, when you give yourself space to learn the truth about yourself and about other situations, you can seize opportunities. You can go to that next level feeling confident and empowered and flowing in your gifts and talents. The world needs your gifts and talents, right now. We need the best version of you. I need the best version of me. My wife needs the best version of me. My children need the best version of me. My clients all around the world need my best version of me. And to do that, I need to give myself some space and unlearn some of those past truths that are holding me back.
So, what about you right now? Just reflect on that for a moment. What is it that you have learned about yourself, about others, about the world, about different areas of expertise and knowledge that may not be true? You see, we form those beliefs which become our thoughts, which become our behaviour, and we've got that internal dialogue going on all the time to make sure that we don't step outside that. So, what I want to do now is just take you through a process for you to be able to unlearn and then relearn what you need for the next step of your journey. Over the last three weeks, we've been setting ourselves up in January, so that we've got a great foundation moving forward for the rest of the year. And we started off by unpacking, unpacking this stuff that we don't need. We then looked at unplugging last week, unplugging from anything that's negative. And today, we're going to finish that off by looking at how to unlearn. So, let me take you through it.
So, it's a 4 step process with the end result of you setting yourself up with a brain that is wired for success. So, the first part of the process is to recognise. So, recognise, right now, what are the beliefs, what are the mindsets, what are the behaviours that you have that are not serving you and or the people around you. They're not serving your mission, they are holding you back, they're keeping you safe, so you think. So, we need to recognise those and we need to recognise the root cause of where they came from. So, for me, if I go back when I was 15, I found out something that had happened in my childhood that I formed beliefs about myself on. So, I was given some evidence and that evidence, by the way, lined up perfectly to how I felt about myself anyway. So, it wasn't too hard to convince me.
So, what I needed to do and what you need to do is recognise that there was no truth in it, that it was a truth that I had taken on because it fit and it kept me safe and it stopped me from moving forward. And there was plenty of evidence, just like there is with your beliefs, with your unhealthy mindsets and your unhealthy behaviours, there's plenty of evidence to the contrary. So, the first thing we're going to do is recognise what it is that's holding us back, what it is that needs further investigation to be proven incorrect.
The second part of the process is to reject it. So, as we said, we've got these beliefs, we've got these behaviours, we've got these mindsets and our internal dialogue that we have convince us that we need that. We need that to stay safe. So, before we'll do anything about it, we actually have to let it go. We have to reject its validity. We have to go, "You know what? That's what I used to believe, but it's no longer true." It's like in the field of neuroscience that I do a lot of work in, as you know. For a number of years, we had an understanding of this whole left and right brain dominance principle, and over years of lots of research, lots of study, a far better imaging to what we had before, we now know that that's not true, that you're not either left or right brain dominance. And if people are still teaching that, you need to help them to understand that that's not the case. Yet, if you believe that before you can move on to the new truth, you've got to reject that that is the truth. So, the second part of the process is to reject it. So, it's not serving me. It's not true. I'm not believing that anymore. I'm moving forward.
The third part of the process is to replace. So, once we've recognised and we've rejected, we need to replace that untruth that we've unlearned with a new truth that we can learn. So, we need to look at what is really true. So, in my case, I looked at the fact that I was unlovable. And then, when I got to the point of going, "You know what? I'm going to move forward from this." I rejected that. I then needed to learn and replace that with, "You are lovable." And by going through that process and looking at it with a healthy perspective, with a forward focus, reflection, and a moving forward mentality, I had plenty of evidence that I am lovable and that I am worthy of being loved. So, I recognised it, I rejected it, and I replaced it with a much more empowering belief that I am lovable and worthy to be loved. So, what is it for you? What is it that you're going to replace that mindset, that behaviour with, that habit, whatever it is that you want to unlearn and relearn to get better results in 2020.
And the fourth part of the process is to repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat the new mindset, the new behaviour, the new learning, the new habit, whatever it is, so that you rewire your brain. And then, that new belief, that empowering belief, that empowering habit or behaviour comes up and serves you and those around you without you needing to hit the button just like your old ones did. So, for you to set yourself up as we go in towards the end of January, we need to unlearn those things that we've thought to be true, that we've been holding ourselves back with and then relearn the good stuff, the stuff that is true, the stuff that is going to take you forward into your full destiny in 2020 and beyond.
Well, that's it from me for another week and another month. And I've really enjoyed this process that we've kicked off with in 2020, so if you haven't yet subscribed and got involved to join the conversation, I really want to encourage you to come with me and go to, firstly, grantherbert.com and join the conversation. Register to get these videos and podcasts every week, so that you can come on the journey with thousands of other people, as we set ourselves up to ensure that 2020 is our best year yet. I'll see you next week.