Defining Your Values

Do you feel congruent with your values or is there a conflict in one or more areas of your life? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today, I want to continue our conversation around purpose by talking about your values.

So last week, we talked about 3 elements in purpose, in being able to live with intention. We talked about your mission, your overall reason for being and for doing. We talked about your vision, what you can see in the future, and we talked about your values, what it is that underpins everything that you do. And today, I want to talk about those values. I want to give you an opportunity to come with me on a journey to redefine your values, to get back in line with your values. We talked about our vision that is underpinned by our values. Having those in alignment give us congruency. Your values are the motive behind every purposeful action. They drive you, they motivate you, they align you, they check you, they confuse you when they're not congruent. So when we talk about our values, values can either be ideal or actual. So, ideal values are those that are set by cultural norms, by our religious beliefs, by what other people, what the world says are values that we should live by.

And there's the word there, "should", they're very judgmental. So, what we do when we are tracing those ideal values and we're not fully equipped and we're not perfect because we never will be, we can actually be living different values, our real values, our actual values. So, what I want to do is give you the opportunity to recheck in on your values and to prioritise your values. And when I work with my clients, I helped them to get closer to those ideal values, making sure that they are values that they have set for themselves, not what the world has set for them and not running the approval addiction or the Performance Trap is we've talked about before. But to prioritise your values, you first have to know what your whole list of values are. See for me, I have a list of priority values that I check in with all the time. So for me, it's about family. It's about self-worth, it's about integrity, generosity, learning, and influence. So, there are key values that underpin who I am and what I do. And when I'm outside those values, it doesn't feel great. It doesn't feel like I'm in flow, it holds me back. I know there's that sense of it's not really working right there. So, one of the things that I like to do to make sure that I'm in line with my ideal values, the values that I've chosen to be important to me that guide my priorities, I do a little test called the Calendar and Bank Account Test.

See, it's been said many times before that you can tell what's important to someone by where they invest their time and their money. Now, that's not totally what it's all about, but those two currencies tend to help me to stay on track. So, practical way that I do that in my calendar, my calendar is colour-coded. By the way, I'm someone that has to constantly operate with a calendar. I'm not naturally an organised person. I've got a great team that helps me with that as well. However, what I have done differently over the years, it's really served me, is have a calendar that has different colours for my different values. So for example, I mentioned family, so if you'd look in my calendar, you would see that family is colour-coded in royal blue, and then if you were to look at the things that I do in my health and my vitality, they are in a green because that's about growing. If I look at things that I'm doing to do with my business and my practice as an influencer, then that is colour-coded in a light blue, which is the same colour as the blue in my logo. If I'm doing things with my business, People Builders, it's in orange, which is the same colour as the orange for that company, et cetera. So, I can look at my calendar visually and I choose those colours purposefully so that I can look at my calendar and go, "Hey, Grant. You said family is your highest value, as is integrity." So looking at your calendar this week, that doesn't appear to be the case. Your actual values are showing up in your colours.

So, what that's allowed me to do over the years is make sure that I set intention in my calendar for my ideal values. So, I've got time in there, space put away, bandwidth, protected for family, for learning, for health and vitality, exercise, meditation, motivation, for reading, for getting my spiritual and my mental as well as my physical health where it needs to be. There's some pro bono work that I do in certain areas that allow me to be generous. Being generous with my time, with my knowledge, I'm giving that to you right now with no need for you to give me anything in return. So, I can look at those things and go, "Hey, that's good." You are living within the values that you say are true to you.

So, that'd be a great thing for you to consider. A. If you're not using your calendar to use one. B. is to get your values, get them aligned in your calendar. In the same way I can look at my bank account and look where I'm investing my finances. Am I being a great steward for my family or am I investing at all in my self, in my business or whatever it is? Am I spending it on things that are not part of the overall plan? Am I scrolling on social media and I see one of those gadgets that pop up that I just have to have and I invest money in that? Let's face it, I spend money on that. So, that is a good way in a forward-focused reflection way to check in and go, "Am I in my ideal values or outside that?"

And by the way, what I mean with that forward-focused reflection is this is not another reason or another opportunity for you to feel bad about yourself, for you to go, "Oh, I'm terrible. I don't live with inside my values. I'm a fraud, I'm running the impostor syndrome." Whatever it is. No, it's just a check measure to be able to go, "Hey, we've gone off track a little bit. The plane's not quite going where we want it to go because my vision is not clear and therefore I need to bring it back on track." So in your values, are you in conflict or are you in congruence? So set yourself an intention. Get an action plan, list out values. You can Google list of values if you want to increase your vocabulary around that, come up with about 20 of them and then bring them down to about 7 and then test them with the Calendar and the Bank Account Test.

Well, that's it for me for another week. Next week, we're going to continue talking about purpose, where we're going to have a look at your vision and create a personal vision statement for yourself. I'll see you then.

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